Ok... December Post

Alright God damn it!


Let's all gather around now, children. Uncle Helskel is gonna tell you a story.

*children gather around in eager expectation of wonderful story telling*

"It all began with a broken spoon. You see there was this old man. Let's just call him Old Man. Ok. Everyone agreed? Old Man? Ok. Old Man was well... old. He'd been living for quite some time already. I mean, he was old. He wasn't a young man you see. I mean, I wouldn't name him Old Man if he was a teenager, now would I? Ok. Back to the Old Man. Old Man had a cat. The cat wasn't as old as Old Man. The cat would be mumified by now if it was as old as Old Man. So we'll call this cat, Old Man's Cat. Everybody still with me?"

*the children exchange looks with each other, and begin edging away*

"Ok. So Old Man was sitting in his house one day with Old Man's Cat. Old Man's Cat was purring because Old Man was petting Old Man's Cat. Ok, let's just call Old Man's Cat, OMC. Ok? Good. Now OMC had been having some urinary problems lately. OMC would kinda piss wherever. When OMC felt the need, OMC let it flow. In fact, OMC was relieving itself right there in Old Man's lap. Old Man knew OMC was pissing on him, right there on his lap. But Old Man didn't mind, because Old Man kinda had the same problem, and so had a lot sympathy for OMC's condition. Now you can imagine Old Man's house had a bit of a smell to it. That's what this story is about kids, the smell of Old Man's house. Let's call it the SOOMH for short, ok?"

*Uncle Helskel looks up and sees all the children have left*

What! What? Not such a good story eh? Well, fug it. There's your December post.