Thursday, March 31, 2016
Life is funny in that there is always a joke to be made. Always a way to poke fun, and spit on God's face. I've rarely presented pride. At least I don't remember that being some egregious gross side of my character.
I know you think of me as strong. I fancy myself the same. I know this should be a simple matter, one left like a taxi waved on. But it has proven worse than that. Insidious. Unfathomable. A flea's bite, writ large and continual. I know I was supposed to have figured this out by now. To have solved, to have lead myself past this seemingly small sinker on the line. The elephant in the room is, I have not found the way out or past. The fact is I'm a thrall to it. And the hour only grows later, more painful, more obvious. I am sorry. This malfunction on my brain's perception of soul will lead me early from you. I am to blame. It is my shame alone. And it is unfair, irresistible, irresponsible. If only I could take a stand. Make the correct choice. I can choose for others, but apparently not myself. What words will save me?