Thursday, March 31, 2016
Life is funny in that there is always a joke to be made. Always a way to poke fun, and spit on God's face. I've rarely presented pride. At least I don't remember that being some egregious gross side of my character.
I know you think of me as strong. I fancy myself the same. I know this should be a simple matter, one left like a taxi waved on. But it has proven worse than that. Insidious. Unfathomable. A flea's bite, writ large and continual. I know I was supposed to have figured this out by now. To have solved, to have lead myself past this seemingly small sinker on the line. The elephant in the room is, I have not found the way out or past. The fact is I'm a thrall to it. And the hour only grows later, more painful, more obvious. I am sorry. This malfunction on my brain's perception of soul will lead me early from you. I am to blame. It is my shame alone. And it is unfair, irresistible, irresponsible. If only I could take a stand. Make the correct choice. I can choose for others, but apparently not myself. What words will save me?
Friday, November 06, 2015
Long side my head
See the memories of your face
See the memory of my faces
Lanes of travel, disposition of anti darkness strategies,
Micro expressions bursting hide and seek between love and deceit
Gave it all away
Came to play
Knew you when you were young
We’ve never met the sun alone, dear Sol
You cannot be named, nor tamed, nor left without scarring
Not forgotten, not begotten, not bemused, abused, dissuaded, abated
Seen you far away, famous, beautiful, and just as useless in a fight
There was lightning in the storm last night
Arcing pole to pole
Separate bolts for separate people
Racing Capricorn to Cancer
Illuminating backyard secrets behind the Moon
May be, we won’t ever be what we wished
Falling down, it takes new hands to rise again
New fingers printing in new symbols
New phonemes, new dialects for new tribes worshipping new gods
Left behind so many fears
Yet find more villains gearing the grinders
The true mystery is the arena, what ground is this fighting for
Sound and color betray all as usual, for the first time
Finally, before it’s scrubbed from thought again:
I feel each day push me further away from the present
Each consuming more concentration compressing context consideration
Each another slice of young daring dreams whipping by
Like withering weathered posts long side my road
At speed, and picking up
Saturday, February 28, 2015
Thursday, January 22, 2015
Wednesday, November 05, 2014
From between these teeth I will rend you.
From these holes upon either side of my head I will carry away your pain.
With these two fists balled I will defend you.
As this harbor I thwart the sea.
Be the vessel, dream your dreams, smile in face of the inevitable.
It's breaking bones I have.
Only have the salve I have.
Licking the meaning essence, like rain drops running past your mouth.
Life loss in mind, we pick our nebulous future spot, hoping for a cosmic success.
Stress time bleeds into planned art soul expansion time, and begats regret, but the headphones are set to therapy.
Equalling multiple pleas.
We pray in desperation.
So Damn human.
So sufferingly aware.
This is us and making our destination. Autocomplete this soul's struggle.
Rock on, rock forward and back.
We cry for the ones ones we see in the 3am dream.
And of course I miss you as I feel the phantom appendage.
She, shoo, Sha birds and others.
On, the next hill, as I pull the next rabbit out tomorrow, and you go back to the the next generation's gardening grindstone. "pictures or it didn't happen."
Dammit, time, memory, hope.
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
If I left the inside where the outside is
If I knew all that I've forgot
If the morning met the night
If my ears found my mouth
If science felt the spirit
If the task embraced the inspiration
If you then me
If the land eroded the sea
Marbles in the pocket
Faces in the locket
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
If I told the void five words I must begin with one.
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Decision fore ciscion.
I hope I'm learning more of singular decision making.
Recently read A Scanner Darkly, so perhaps I can get better grip on the facets of mind.
Is a strong, overriding super ego the path to success?
Does that entail a loss of inner community, inner culture?
I know I forswore question marks.
Yet the begging is mine.