Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Nuts Pie

Pure Crazy Crust

We are awash in prophets today.

Being a prophet is horrible - I mean a real prophet. You have to tell people they are going to be hurt or killed if they keep doing what most of them really want to do anyway. You are hated and normally killed - just as the two prophets of Revelations.

So think seriously before you say, like Isaiah, her I am, send me. If you really knew you might try and weasel out like Jonah, but that never works either.

How do I know - I´m one myself.

My job is to show that the prophecy of the coming invasion and occupation of the United States by Chinese and Russian forces is contained in the song American Pie.

We are already seeing the chorus come true, "drove my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry," where one meaning of "levy" is the gas pump lever (it also means a military conscription to repel and invading army).

But, as in nearly all prophets - no one listens and thinks I am crazy. Most prophets have some bizarre thing to attract attention to their message, like wearing an ox yoke around their neck, or laying on their side for 300 days, or carrying their crusty shorts on a pole. Mine is, the hidden meaning in American Pie.

(excerpt cut from the random words of a random soul in Bedlam)


Mr Bob said...

that's pretty funny. However, a tell tale sign he is a self-appointed prophet rather than divinely appointed is, he doesn't even know the name of the last book of the Bible. There is no "s" on the end of the word. The Revelation of St. John. or the Apocalypse
but he is right, most true prophets are persecuted, and I think the true meaning of that song is hidden in Weird Al's version myself.

nostradumass said...

While I agree with Mr. Bob that he is a self-appointed prophet, I disagree with the methodology he uses as proof. But that's a philosophical difference that we won't get to the bottom of here on Helskel's blog.
The main point I'm trying to get across is that perhaps there are others more worthy of my moniker than I. If that is the case, I'm sure we can come to an equitable agreement on what my moniker is worth, and how to transfer all rights, legal and otherwise, to this nutball.

sleepybomb said...

i couldn't tell ya what happened yesterday, by the way, will you still love me tomorrow? (all this deep shit makes me wanna break out in song, hell, i do 15 mins when the fridge door opens).

Sweetheart said...

That's funny!